Parenthood is a beautiful, hilarious, and wildly chaotic ride, but it also comes packed with no-sleep nights, an upside-down house, and tantrums (adults throw some too). While you’re trying to raise well-rounded kids and turn them into successful, independent adults, chances are you’re not that focused on your mental health.
The thing is, kids learn more from watching and following your example (at least during their first years of life) than from what you’re telling them. The good news is that you don’t have to strive for perfection.
Kids need presence, peace, understanding, and lots of love, so you can focus less on the mess in their room and more on building an emotionally balanced atmosphere at home. In today’s article, we’ll share several mental health habits that are simple, doable, and powerful enough to make a real difference in everyone’s life (big or small).
1. Build Healthy Digital Habits
Screens are everywhere nowadays. According to the AACAP, children ages 8 to 12 in the United States spend between 4 and 6 hours a day on screens, while teens spend up to 9 hours. We, as parents, should be worried about this because we don’t know what impact it will have on their mental and social development.
Constant screen exposure can lead to increased anxiety, impact healthy sleep habits, and inhibit real-life connections. So, the best thing to do is to set digital boundaries early on. You should also take a look at your own digital habits since adults are just as guilty of spending too much time on their phones.
Here are a few tips to make digital habits easier to accept and learn:
- Create a family tech curfew, where all devices go night-night by 8 pm (yours included).
- No phones or tablets allowed at the table. Try to eat together as a family at least once a day, and have interesting conversations.
- Get kids involved in setting the rules (“What time should the iPads go to sleep?”).
2. Practice Empathetic Communication
Ever catch yourself saying, “Because I said so!” for the 37th time in a row? Yeah, it happens to every parent once the kids start asking a million “But whyyyyy?” questions. Still, shutting down communication is not the answer.
The best thing to do for everyone’s mental health is to create a space where everyone (yes, you’re included) feels heard and understood. It won’t be easy, but here are a few things you can try:
Talk about feelings. By saying things like “I feel overwhelmed when the living room looks like a Lego explosion,” you may get a different result than “You never clean up!”
Practice reflective listening. Repeat back what your child said to build trust and make sure you understand the real problem behind big crocodile tears, fighting, and screaming. Kids don’t have the emotional range needed to understand what’s happening inside their brains, so it’s up to you to figure it out.
3. Normalize Getting Mental Health Support
Therapy, counseling, and mindfulness are no longer taboo words (thankfully), and you should make them a normal occurrence in your home. Also, normalize the idea that everyone’s needs differ, so the same solutions may not work.
Talk about mental health and getting support like you talk about the dentist or getting your annual checkup. This is something people do to stay healthy, not just when things fall apart. Also, promote platforms like Different MHP, where people of all ages and needs can find help online.
Nowadays, teenagers are among the most impacted by social media use, but they’re not going to ask for help using traditional channels. For them, online mental health platforms are the best solution.
Lastly, don’t forget yourself. Therapy isn’t just for kids and teens; it’s also for tired, overwhelmed, overstimulated parents. It’s also a way to lead by example and show your kids they shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help.
4. Create a Predictable Family Rhythm
No, we’re not saying run your house like a military academy. We’re saying to have a few rules that help everyone feel safe and peaceful at home.
To build routines that actually stick, it’s important to start early in your kids’ development and make sure everyone follows them. Who wants to eat dinner at the kitchen table when Dad eats in front of the TV?
Morning rituals and bedtime patterns set the vibe for the whole day, so you should be a stickler about those. Also, be very strict with family time – find fun activities and games you can all enjoy, and make sure everyone is involved (no skipping!).
5. Make Positivity a Family Practice
Showing gratitude is something most of us need to practice more. When you practice gratitude as a family, you break the constant cycle of negativity most of us live in and teach kids about the important things in life. Plus, gratitude boosts connection, lowers stress, and builds resilience.
Here are a few methods to try:
- A family gratitude jar: Leave it on the kitchen counter with slips of paper. Ask everyone to write at least one thing they’re grateful for during the day. It doesn’t have to be anything big.
- Positives and negatives at dinner: Everyone shares one good thing and one hard thing from their day. It’s a great way to validate all emotions while ending on a high note.
- Have a Wall of Wins: Dedicate a spot on the fridge or hallway to hang up notes, drawings, or snapshots of recent wins, however small (“I tied my shoes!” or “Didn’t cry during math!”)
Wrap Up
You don’t need a full life overhaul to create a happier, calmer home; just a few small shifts and the courage to try them. You’ve got this!